Monica has an 18-month-old daughter

Dear Annie: My husband’s cousin, “Monica,” is a very dear friend, but lately I’ve left family gatherings with knots in my stomach.

Monica has an 18-month-old daughter and insists that all the other children, including my 4-year-old and 6-year-old, limit their activities to accommodate her child. The other day, at Grandpa’s, the older children went to play in the basement and the toddler wanted to go as well. Monica took her toddler down and left my 6- year-old in charge. Of course, five minutes later, the child was halfway back up the stairs, which made Monica so furious that she abruptly turned off the lights and ordered all the children upstairs. Throughout the evening, every game was systematically ended if Monica couldn’t see the action from where she was sitting.

Dear Advocate: Stop humoring Monica, or she will think this is acceptable behavior. It is the parents’ job to supervise their children, not only because there are activities the child should not participate in, but also to prevent injuries and accidents. The next time the family gets together, tell Monica the children will include her child when possible, but it won’t be all the time. Sympathize with how draining it is to watch a toddler, and if she has to step away from the “adult table,” you might offer to keep her company now and then.